It's true that many kavalactones aren't water-soluble but they are fat soluble! The taste of kava is pretty brutal which is why you pound your cups/shells of kava. Taking your time drinking a quantity of kava makes it less enjoyable if you haven't acquired a taste or kava yet. I've had cups of kava measuring no more than 8 fl oz at a time. I space these out around 15-20 minutes per cup.
Some people have reverse tolerance (frequently abbreviated here as "RT") of kava and it may take you X amount of sessions (it varies per person) to get you feeling desirable effects on a topical week night session. Many here advise those starting out to do
2 to 4 tbsp of kava per liter of liquid. If you're aiming to use something fat soluble, it may be cost-effective to mix in some whole milk or some other fat rather than doing ALL fat liquid. If the grog really tastes nasty, chase each cup with some of your lime juice and/or hazel nut syrup. I've found when I tried to mix in other things into my grog it only masks the taste or makes a new kind of nasty rather than making it taste better. Up the quantity of kava powder only once you're confident of the weakness of 2-4 tbsps. The problem with starting at higher quantities is you may be overdoing it by the time you get through RT and that can cause some undesirable effects.
If you're finding you aren't getting desirable affects with one variety of kava, try another brand of medium grind. It may help you acquire a taste for kava since you'll acquire a better spectrum of flavors and effects on the mind and body. You may like Melo Melo but find Nambawan revolting or vise versa. You'll also find that with a selection of kava in your cabinet you can also mix and match quantities to get new effects. Sample packs are your friends if a particular merchant offers those so that you can ease off the wallet while trying new kinds of kava.
As for your benzo and K@ use, I don't know if you're still actively using either of these or if you're currently at kava use only, but try to stick with just kava for a while. It takes time and a bit of commitment to see how kava works. A month should be a sufficient amount of time to determine whether kava is for you or not. If you're trying to ward away anxiety, try doing other things to help you relax between your cups of kava. Listen to some music, watch TV, play a game that doesn't normally cause you stress. Kava isn't going to completely help your anxiety. Like any other substance, whether prescribed or not, it is there only to help you cope so that you can more easily reach a solution to your anxiety issues.
Kava helps you help yourself.
But kava shouldn't be just a way to get out. Kava does many other wonderful things. If you like kava enough, keep it in your life after your anxiety is thoroughly subdued. It may help you make friends, more fully enable introspection, or else help you grasp at the intricacies that is living as a human being. The Pacific Islanders have known this for a long time and it's great they are willing to pass this on to us.
Welcome to Kava Forums. We're here to help you on your kava journey, however long it lasts.
++Thought for the Day: The world shapes us just as we shape it. Don't be caught without your tools!++