Big Pharma is evil. That's all I know. I cannot believe it has taken me so many years to realize how damaging benzos are to the human brain. Anyway, I have a pretty severe panic disorder (since I was 12 but not medicated until 20yrs old). I am on insane amounts of klonopin. First, my MD decreased my dose last year. Then, just last visit, I asked if we could use the Ashton Method to wean me OFF. I want off but I won't do it myself. I cannot and he has no idea what the method is, nor does he want to learn and he won't change therapy. No other psychiatrist can take on my case. It's not safe and I could never do my job again (probably, either way, I would not be able to work). So, how messed up is this? If you've never taken a "Controlled substance" you'll, luckily, not know what I mean by this: We, at my place of work, (as well as most corporate pharmacies), have to hold a person to.the.day the med is due to be filled. No exceptions. New York State law says that a controlled Rx can be filled when the patient has 7 days or less left at home. Well, now, just by pure voluntary policies, most corporations won't fill until THE day of... Usually, I don't care but I drive an hour to and from work and I work the same time as other pharmacies are open! I cannot fill my own Rx. Policies again. In fact, I wouldn't want to and I wouldn't ever fill at my own company..ever. I skipped a dose the night before last, I'm skipping tonight which will affect me tomorrow and I will still be short a dose at work on Sunday. All day, I will rely on Kava. Thank the green earth for Kava! It won't be the same. I am not sure how much deficit I will be in by Sunday but you'd better believe that I will have my insant, micro, candies and 32 ounces of medium ground heavy kava at work on Sunday. I am thankful every day for such an amazing root that can give me even a hint of relief. This is the worst I've had to go through yet but I really need to find a way off the meds. Then, watch our sick gov't take our kava away.... Sorry for the rant. I guess I just needed to type it out. I mean, we have notes in patients profiles saying, "HOLD NORCO TO THE DAY!!!" << just like that, as if they are a junkie. Also, "NO PSE!" because they've gotten too much Sudafed at our store. I'm SURE my file says similar about me trying to filla day early a few times when it has interfered with work. It is sickening to think that I'm a druggie when I am the most organic, fit person in that people at work even poke fun at how healthy I am. Yet, I am treated like a druggie. No one deserves that but my rant is over. It is just how it goes, I suppose. I am tempted to brew some PNG Isa but too afraid of it. So, it'll sit unless I really get desparate.