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Don Papi Chulo

Kava Curious
Yes!
¡Bienvenidos!
As you can see in the new members forum, Papi has emerged!
http://kavaforums.com/forum/threads/don-papi-chulo.6578/

Today's cermon will be about moderation in hindsight.

I've come to bear witness, share a story of a decent man from a distant land. After years of struggling financially, he finally got his small business up and running. Kava had helped facilitate his cleaning of house and application of self.
No longer, was he compelled to drink beer from cans filled with cigarette buds in the morning!
No longer, was he putting himself down while eating cold ass TV dinners!
No longer!
No longer, was he making up excuses to escape from social gatherings!
No longer!
Finally, he could sleep at night!
Finally, he could resist indulging in fast food and alcohol that only really nourished his depression and low self esteem. Our hero had lost weight, was making money, smiling, working out, reading again, listening to music again and felt 10 years younger. He had amassed a great bounty and was prepared to stock up on the kava goodness. He felt he earned it. He finally felt he was worth something.

In distant lands, in their island fortresses, the great Vendor Lords of Kava received word from our hero. These blessed noblemen where applauding our hero, cheering him on. YES WE WILL SUPPLY YOU! The answer rung throughout the lands, carried by fowl, by sea urchins, echoing from mountain to mountain, blowing in the wind making all trees sing songs of joy and merry.

So, all was well you say?
A happy ending you say?
PAPI SAYS NO!
¡No culo feliz aqui!

Because, as every tale has a hero, every tale has a villain. This tale has two. The massive tapeworm only known as USPS, pestulating the lands with it's cursed slowness and the evil wenches at the bridge of customs. Prying every parcel with their lanky, bony, puss ridden claws of granny menstruation.
Our hero received the discs of bliss from @Steve the Mellow Fellow, and awaited instant magic mud, concentrated calm and powdered roots of refreshments from other Great Noblemen in other lands and castles. Our hero found himself at great spirits, sharing the discs of bliss with those less in fortune, but as great in need. Soon there were but 8 discs left.
Our hero was sensing a smell, the smell of slowness. USPS, the evil tapeworm had used it's powers of slowness! Even worse! The wenches had sunk their puss ridden claws of granny menstruation into the parcel from the Lord Vendor of the moist green fields of a not so distant land. Our hero found himself in despair and agony. In hindsight, he should have shown more moderation. He found himself almost regretting his kindness.
Papi ask you this:
Is this the world we want to live in?
A world where tapeworms and granny menstruation saturates our existence and strangles the good in man?
Is it?
 
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Don Papi Chulo

Kava Curious
Is this the world we WANT to live in? Well .... no, that granny thing sounds scary and by granny, I take it you mean Madonna. :eek: But it is the world in which we inhabit and that's why we do Kava. By the way, what are you wearing for the Opening of Star Wars? :whistle:
The TRUTH is scary and yes, we need the kava magic to deal with the monstrosities of our lands. Even so, Papi says we would still make use of this magic after the beasts have been slain.
@Deleted User01 are you saying Madonna of the Inflated Prunes is in cahoots with the evil wenches? Ach so, javalito, the plot emulsifies.
 

Don Papi Chulo

Kava Curious
As the a wise Yoda once told a young constipated Hans Solo, "May the Prunes be With You". :D
Papi has not watched Star Wars since that evening when Princess Leia lifted her skirt in his chambers of Chulissimo and revealed her manhood. Papi don't hate, but Papi don't play that game. Also, the prunes are not something to be spoken of in jest. This is serious!
 

Don Papi Chulo

Kava Curious
"puss ridden claws of granny menstruation."!?!? To you sir I say LOL. I do not say LOL frequently because, let's face it, 99% of the time it didn't happen. But in this case I did in fact laugh....out loud.
This pleases Papi and tickles his neurons. You, Sir, have a great nick btw. Papi will hold several cermons in the days to come. The next cermon includes more on the inflated prunes of Madonna, the Shithawks and the battle of good vs. evil. It's not for the faint hearted, but for those among us that can HANDLE the TRUTH!
 
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