Yar getting back to myself

[gork]

I don't keep it a secret that it turns out I manage D depression after I got whacked by it two weeks ago. While this is not my personel blog I thought I'd also toss out some stuff that's been helping me, and might help others.
-Upbeat energizing Kavas seems to help some. I think it's because some lead me to a case of the gigles. And that helps keep perspective. Like I commented on reddit Rawanager weirdly helps me remember to 'Slow down, and life is for living, enjoyed and savored' (Lore walker Cho, world of warcraft.') while Pouni Ono is more of a happy silly place and finding myself having (good I hope!) casses of the giggles, or enjoying dancing to fun music again. I can't wait to find out what kind of fun I might have with Eva.
-Water water water
-Get out side! I for one are solar powered!
-Weirdly: dark choclate
-Also weridly a bit of coffee
-In my case as I said in another thread here as guy America says oh no you can't hit walls, or want and need help doing stuff, or simply want some company doing boring crap like house work or paper work etc. That's just crap!
And: Zumba. I've been to 3 classes now. So far? A ton of fun. Because I'm about 30 pound over weight I go a little slower than the others in the class and sometimes have 3 left feet and 5 arms. So what. I just go off to the side a bit and laugh

Anyway I hope that all helps others in bonkers world. And as a reminder: a bunch of what's goiing on in the world is not normal. Like tick says" I'm not going insane! It's everyone else going bonkers!' so it might be ok to laugh about some of the weird crap going on.

Anyway Just some ideas that turned out to be helping me, so maybe something others might try.

 

[kastom_lif]

Theobromine, sun and exercise sounds like a good prescription.

 

[Krunkie McKrunkface]

I don't keep it a secret that it turns out I manage D depression after I got whacked by it two weeks ago. While this is not my personel blog I thought I'd also toss out some stuff that's been helping me, and might help others.
-Upbeat energizing Kavas seems to help some. I think it's because some lead me to a case of the gigles. And that helps keep perspective. Like I commented on reddit Rawanager weirdly helps me remember to 'Slow down, and life is for living, enjoyed and savored' (Lore walker Cho, world of warcraft.') while Pouni Ono is more of a happy silly place and finding myself having (good I hope!) casses of the giggles, or enjoying dancing to fun music again. I can't wait to find out what kind of fun I might have with Eva.
-Water water water
-Get out side! I for one are solar powered!
-Weirdly: dark choclate
-Also weridly a bit of coffee
-In my case as I said in another thread here as guy America says oh no you can't hit walls, or want and need help doing stuff, or simply want some company doing boring crap like house work or paper work etc. That's just crap!
And: Zumba. I've been to 3 classes now. So far? A ton of fun. Because I'm about 30 pound over weight I go a little slower than the others in the class and sometimes have 3 left feet and 5 arms. So what. I just go off to the side a bit and laugh

Anyway I hope that all helps others in bonkers world. And as a reminder: a bunch of what's goiing on in the world is not normal. Like tick says" I'm not going insane! It's everyone else going bonkers!' so it might be ok to laugh about some of the weird crap going on.

Anyway Just some ideas that turned out to be helping me, so maybe something others might try.

when you (I mean you specifically, gork, not the generic "you" that really means "me") find stuff that makes you(I mean you specifically, gork, not the generic "you" that really means "me") feel better it makes me (I mean me) happy.

Or maybe more better: when gork finds stuff that makes gork feel better it makes McKrunkadunk happy.

 

[muddywaters]

Seasonal depression is a pain, brighter kava's with less of a body load help. The heavier aspects always work their way through later at some point but I can't seem to feel any sort of depression dread while it's still in my system. At the worst if I'm not careful my negative thoughts and worries can't creep on me at the wrong times. It's that dreaded point in the winter where I have had enough and just want to get back outside into the blazing summer sun again and stay out there.

 

[gork]

Seasonal depression is a pain, brighter kava's with less of a body load help. The heavier aspects always work their way through later at some point but I can't seem to feel any sort of depression dread while it's still in my system. At the worst if I'm not careful my negative thoughts and worries can't creep on me at the wrong times. It's that dreaded point in the winter where I have had enough and just want to get back outside into the blazing summer sun again and stay out there.

Nailed it! I humoursly think i'm solar powered. It's days like today with a grey cloudy thing going. This years just bonkers weather is not helping. It's early spring, my body expects sun, and warmth and yearns for that. But is given blankity blank cold!

Edit: I do antidepressents. And yeah you nailed it re: obsessive or negative thoughts. Energizing Kava's refreshing kavas for me with Lamictal (for example) weirdly help.
My guess is a part of that is at least for me having a case of the giggles helps to. My guess is to help keep perspective.
As a concrete example: I tried out for a place to be a travel agent. I (think) I want that with something that's grunt work, that's upbeat, get out of the house kind stuff. Because being cooped up inside is horrible for my depression.

Edi: Ack! lol oh their it is. What I don't like about Lamictal is (eventually) it also makes my bowls mad sometimes. Cymbalta didn't last time I tried that. And I love LOVE LOVE that (so far) neither has Pouni Ono so far wich so rocks! side effects of Tongan Kava may include silly happy energetic Gorks. Silly happy gorks may tell silly happy happy jokes and laugh at his dyslexic spelling and polite hugs. Do not taunt silly happy gorks for they may wonder if your mum has elder berries and what the air speed of a bird is.
However the place turned me down. It...felt cleansing in a way to simply move on and try another place. and not get bent out of shape.

 

[muddywaters]

Nailed it! I humoursly think i'm solar powered. It's days like today with a grey cloudy thing going. This years just bonkers weather is not helping. It's early spring, my body expects sun, and warmth and yearns for that. But is given blankity blank cold!

Edit: I do antidepressents. And yeah you nailed it re: obsessive or negative thoughts. Energizing Kava's refreshing kavas for me with Lamictal (for example) weirdly help.
My guess is a part of that is at least for me having a case of the giggles helps to. My guess is to help keep perspective.
As a concrete example: I tried out for a place to be a travel agent. I (think) I want that with something that's grunt work, that's upbeat, get out of the house kind stuff. Because being cooped up inside is horrible for my depression.

Edi: Ack! lol oh their it is. What I don't like about Lamictal is (eventually) it also makes my bowls mad sometimes. Cymbalta didn't last time I tried that. And I love LOVE LOVE that (so far) neither has Pouni Ono so far wich so rocks! side effects of Tongan Kava may include silly happy energetic Gorks. Silly happy gorks may tell silly happy happy jokes and laugh at his dyslexic spelling and polite hugs. Do not taunt silly happy gorks for they may wonder if your mum has elder berries and what the air speed of a bird is.
However the place turned me down. It...felt cleansing in a way to simply move on and try another place. and not get bent out of shape.

I joke that I'm solar powered too. The only kava's I gotta stay away from are super gassy and body heavy strains. I just have to be a little brave and see what common one I like best and stick with it. With me it's all perspective otherwise too, stress and problems outside of my control in my life are the things that mostly get me down. My depression is also mixed with some PTSD and sadly it's connected itself to so many vague objects and sensations including body sensations and certain nasty feelings in my gut are one of them. The association problems are like the eternal thorn in my side, it's like brain damage in a way because they've been wired like that and are very difficult to manipulate. I'm just not in the best situation but I try to be happy about some things. I at least have a job and something coming in with a small support net. My job at least lets me be somewhere else and make money while I'm there, yeah it's not where I wanna be but it's something. I also remember when I first got one and had somewhere to go and people to see. My world got bigger and a little more of an adventure. It was pretty close to rock bottom but I got something so valuable out of it. Things and perspectives I learned that stuck with me forever. People that left a good impression on me too.

I went through so many jobs and the one I really liked I couldn't stay at because I got cut to almost nothing and had to bounce around for a while leading to where I am now. If I survive a year or more in a place I'll tend to try to look for another too just because I need that change of scenery now and then. I find I don't mind doing retail level grunt work. I'm always upbeat and try not to spread any negativity. If I had my way I would actually own my small bakery. People are mean to me sometimes because of short term memory problems and some real bad brain days I'll have problems with focusing on many things at once and speech, and it's very embarrassing cause I'm also fully aware but it's neurological and I can't control it (which by the way I don't know how but kava has helped, I'm speaking clearer with less forgetting how to pronounce certain words/phrases or accidental word salad). It even takes coworkers a while to understand before the light clicks on over their head and they get that I'm just not being a bad worker in certain areas because I'm not giving it my all or want to.

 

[gork]

I joke that I'm solar powered too. The only kava's I gotta stay away from are super gassy and body heavy strains. I just have to be a little brave and see what common one I like best and stick with it. With me it's all perspective otherwise too, stress and problems outside of my control in my life are the things that mostly get me down. My depression is also mixed with some PTSD and sadly it's connected itself to so many vague objects and sensations including body sensations and certain nasty feelings in my gut are one of them. The association problems are like the eternal thorn in my side, it's like brain damage in a way because they've been wired like that and are very difficult to manipulate. I'm just not in the best situation but I try to be happy about some things. I at least have a job and something coming in with a small support net. My job at least lets me be somewhere else and make money while I'm there, yeah it's not where I wanna be but it's something. I also remember when I first got one and had somewhere to go and people to see. My world got bigger and a little more of an adventure. It was pretty close to rock bottom but I got something so valuable out of it. Things and perspectives I learned that stuck with me forever. People that left a good impression on me too.

I went through so many jobs and the one I really liked I couldn't stay at because I got cut to almost nothing and had to bounce around for a while leading to where I am now. If I survive a year or more in a place I'll tend to try to look for another too just because I need that change of scenery now and then. I find I don't mind doing retail level grunt work. I'm always upbeat and try not to spread any negativity. If I had my way I would actually own my small bakery. People are mean to me sometimes because of short term memory problems and some real bad brain days I'll have problems with focusing on many things at once and speech, and it's very embarrassing cause I'm also fully aware but it's neurological and I can't control it (which by the way I don't know how but kava has helped, I'm speaking clearer with less forgetting how to pronounce certain words/phrases or accidental word salad). It even takes coworkers a while to understand before the light clicks on over their head and they get that I'm just not being a bad worker in certain areas because I'm not giving it my all or want to.

It's a load of junk all weird hoops people make you jump through now as well. However if you're in the US Micrsoft,, SAP (who I don't know anything about, Atari is/was, and Pixare is(or was) was actively hiring for people labled as 'dificult or unhireable' wich is realy awesome. It's on good morning america (sundays) and was started in late 2016/early 2017. They take people in small groups so as those people can worktogether and become like the misfits or guardians of the galaxy kind of thing. up to 50 or at a time. It's definatly a scratch eachothers back thing and regularly makes US news ^_^ I simply don't know how it works. I'll be apply to it myself
@WeirdBrainMoments Pff I have those all the time. One was rather funny. I accidentally sent someone the wrong thank you letter. I clicked the sarastic one. "dear Mr. Pinehead Money bags. You are complete pineheads, it's a right large pain the in keaseter to deal with your pretenous ego, hahahahaha, your taste in art is dreadful, we can't breath wearing these kinds of ties, why go do a wine junkey where you'll screw up a good coat- we have to dry clean these things and have other things to do you know! etc. " One persion wanted to rip into me (long day and the intern did what!) Another person laughed and things worked out anyway. Turns out it was a OG Family (partially) runs this foundation giving the place I worked for at the time crap. Some dudes kid was being some dudes kid and he knows what mums and dads wants (turns out they were hillariusly wrong). The other side of the family believe ir or not called the office up-- litteraly laughing...in a good way. Baiscally they thought it was funny as hell to say what was on everybodies mind- turns out. So things worked out, in a super awesome way. A MarineBiology center and school got better than boca bucks. They got a whole new center! (for example)

But your right it doesn't make sense! Like ok I'm dyslexic, have terrible spelling and all sorts of dyslexic moments and wierd memory things and brain farts all the time. Who cares! I can use excell (or better yet gdocs spreadsheet for example) etc.
When I was first into tech and when I first fell for doing tech support was when it was fine, and even cournaged to just say. I have no clue how help you, let me see if someone here does. Now? Oh you're not Ethan Hawek one of the founders of NODE. Do you NODE how what the clode is (dude I was doing the cloud well before it was the cloud...like drop box was in beta! doesn't meen i know everything though!)

@kava Oh I agree I have to super carefull about the bodload heavy ones to! I have no idea why probably a mix of taste and how my body works.
For what ever reason ones likes KavaFied Tunga and me the one time I had it get along great. Me and Papa Kea get along pretty well to,
Weirdly me and Kamakua and HankaapiAI have a gloriusly infamous relation ship on this forum.

 

[Intrepidus_dux]

@muddywaters and @gork ,
I too say that I’m solar powered! I made my buddy snort laugh the other day trying to explain why I can’t live outside the desert and finally just said “I’m solar powered ok? No sun makes me sad.”

:-D

 

[muddywaters]

@muddywaters and @gork ,
I too say that I’m solar powered! I made my buddy snort laugh the other day trying to explain why I can’t live outside the desert and finally just said “I’m solar powered ok? No sun makes me sad.”

:-D

It was sunny almost 70 degrees yesterday, I was outside all day long. It was almost a record for february. Now it's back to 40's and decreasing. Felt like myself again for just a day and had a nice night drinking kava later. Somehow this little summer preview actually hurt more in the back of my mind because I know it was just a little tease. Especially since when I get the first taste of it for the year, I can get pretty manic. My mind goes nuts metaphorically slamming fists on the table all "freedom! freedom! freedom!" but then to get to the next day only to have it cut short only leaves me with a headache wondering if it was just a dream and nothing happened yesterday at all.

 

[gork]

It was sunny almost 70 degrees yesterday, I was outside all day long. It was almost a record for february. Now it's back to 40's and decreasing. Felt like myself again for just a day and had a nice night drinking kava later. Somehow this little summer preview actually hurt more in the back of my mind because I know it was just a little tease. Especially since when I get the first taste of it for the year, I can get pretty manic. My mind goes nuts metaphorically slamming fists on the table all "freedom! freedom! freedom!" but then to get to the next day only to have it cut short only leaves me with a headache wondering if it was just a dream and nothing happened yesterday at all.

One of my friends desibes this well "The darkness is like a fog and a drug I just want the light and for my fog to stout out"