I Love Kava Friday Friday Thread: Freedom Friday!
- Thread starter Pacifico
- Start date
verticity
I'm interested in things
Let's change the subject.
I was just picking up my kid from summer camp. As I was driving it occurred to me that we should have a new hand gesture. Americans, and many others I'm sure, are familiar with "The Finger", which consists of an extended middle finger, and is kind of a pictographic representation of the concept "fuck you". Normally the middle finger is extended by itself, and the remaining fingers are balled into a fist, but in some implementations of the gesture, the ring and index fingers are bent at both joints alongside the middle finger to represent "testicles." Sometimes when one is driving in the States, another driver will present The Finger. In some cases, the Fingerer may be in the right, but in other cases he may be in the wrong with his non-verbal accusation. But in either case the natural response of the one flipped off, the Fingeree, dictated by masculine pride, is to respond by presenting The Finger right back at the original Fingerer. The only culturally approved response, whether one believes one is right or acknowledges that the other may be justified, is to escalate the situation by engaging in a kind of crypto-phallic sword fight.
I think we need a new hand gesture. A gesture that signifies, "I'm sorry", "mea culpa", "I apologize for cutting you off because I didn't see you there and you were driving 90mph on a moped."
I considered the "Peace Sign", consisting of index and middle finger, but that won't work, because in the UK an inverted "Peace Sign" is actually a synonym for The Finger. Even an American who is not aware of that fact might still feel threatened upon seeing the two finger salute, feeling that his challenge to a symbolic phallic sword fight was being returned with two belligerent phalluses.
So here is my idea for the "mea culpa" hand gesture:
I was just picking up my kid from summer camp. As I was driving it occurred to me that we should have a new hand gesture. Americans, and many others I'm sure, are familiar with "The Finger", which consists of an extended middle finger, and is kind of a pictographic representation of the concept "fuck you". Normally the middle finger is extended by itself, and the remaining fingers are balled into a fist, but in some implementations of the gesture, the ring and index fingers are bent at both joints alongside the middle finger to represent "testicles." Sometimes when one is driving in the States, another driver will present The Finger. In some cases, the Fingerer may be in the right, but in other cases he may be in the wrong with his non-verbal accusation. But in either case the natural response of the one flipped off, the Fingeree, dictated by masculine pride, is to respond by presenting The Finger right back at the original Fingerer. The only culturally approved response, whether one believes one is right or acknowledges that the other may be justified, is to escalate the situation by engaging in a kind of crypto-phallic sword fight.
I think we need a new hand gesture. A gesture that signifies, "I'm sorry", "mea culpa", "I apologize for cutting you off because I didn't see you there and you were driving 90mph on a moped."
I considered the "Peace Sign", consisting of index and middle finger, but that won't work, because in the UK an inverted "Peace Sign" is actually a synonym for The Finger. Even an American who is not aware of that fact might still feel threatened upon seeing the two finger salute, feeling that his challenge to a symbolic phallic sword fight was being returned with two belligerent phalluses.
So here is my idea for the "mea culpa" hand gesture:
Pacifico
Kava Enthusiast
That means "anus" in many countries on earth.
verticity
I'm interested in things
So?
Pacifico
Kava Enthusiast
So you will have teenagers constantly trying to penetrate it with their pointer fingers to avoid you slugging them in the shoulder twice. It's a never ending game.
Pacifico
Kava Enthusiast
I love my opposite-sex friend and I demand a marriage license.... hmmm.
verticity
I'm interested in things
Did you get the glass jars for the extract yet?
verticity
I'm interested in things
I love life; I demand a birth certificate.
Hmmmm...
Pacifico
Kava Enthusiast
I am thirsty and demand water... hmmmm.
verticity
I'm interested in things
I'm trying to picture what you are talking about, but my imagination is deficient.
Bubba Bula
krunkadelic relic
Curiously, I'm wondering if same sex couple in prison can now be married and demand they share the same cell. If so, then shouldn't hetero couples also be able to marry and share a cell? What if they have a baby together - in prison? This new ruling brings up some interesting scenarios.
Pacifico
Kava Enthusiast
So in various countries... including this one... if you connect your index finger and them to form a circle, it means ass. If you show it to some in some parts of the world, such as Brazil, it's fightin' time. Otherwise, in some places including here, teenagers hold the gesture and try to get you to make eye contact with it. If you don't "finger" it before they can take it away, they get to punch you. They did it when I was in school and I still see kids doing it now. It's intense, I tell you.
verticity
I'm interested in things
They can get married, yes. They cannot demand to share the same cell. Seems kind of obvious. They cannot have a baby together.. also seems obvious. No adoption agency will let prisoners adopt a kid.. soo..
Pacifico
Kava Enthusiast
Prisoners have rights to food, water, and exercise. Some are awarded conjugal visits by spouses, mostly if they are inmates of low to medium security prisons. Since all marriage is legal in the United States of America, that should apply to all spouses in such isolated cases. Prisoners can demand nothing. They are in prison.
HeadHodge
Bula To Eternity
Oh!!! You mean "Donkey Punch". I did that once and she died.
verticity
I'm interested in things
Well presumably the same requirements that apply to marriage licenses apply for both gay and straight couples.
For example in Colorado, the requirements are:
- You need to provide ID to prove your identity
- You need to pay $30
- "Divorced persons must provide the approximate date of divorce and a location where the decree was issued."
That's it. You can be cousins. No blood test. You don't have to reside in Colorado.
I fail to see how that is equivalent to requirements for a drivers or restaurant license, it's more like a fishing license, where you are paying a small fee for the government to recognize your activity.
Pacifico
Kava Enthusiast
Obtaining a marriage license is a bureaucratic process that costs like fifty bucks. People get married for all kinds of reasons. Merely wanting the benefits actually is sufficient because that is not a question that the clerk asks. In most cases, they ask for your ID and if you are married in another state. That is why people elope so easily. Your reason for marriage is not a question that is asked if you when you get legally married.