I'd love to tryout your kava! Hopefully some dark humor does it lol
*Edit: it doesn't say "or" so I'm assuming maybe it's to put all of them in a post, so here we go!
Joke:
What does a fake blonde and an airplane have in common?
A: A black box
Story:
I don't know if you guys remember "pogs", it's a game you try to flip circle tiny cards kinda. Anyways I had a long plastic tube for them when I was like 12 , think like a Pringles chip tube. So I got the smart idea to squeeze out half the air and put it over my lips...
Because I thought it looked funny, like a human mosquito or something and it stuck on hard!
Well 20min later or so I take it off... And... Well now I just looked like a cross of Angelina Jolie and a duck!! Even I started laughing! It looked like I got 10x the normal amount of lip injections or something. My lips were like thumbs!! And def stuck out more than an inch..
I'm not done yet... Next day I wake up and look in the mirror and holy f! Lips back to normal size but all bruised dark and around my mouth.. I didn't want to go to school, it looked like I got hit with a circular brick in the teeth!
Not done yet...
My mom says you're going to school and convinced me to let her put makeup on, sand colored foundation, and that no one would notice bruise or makeup. So I let her and went to school...
Within an hr guys like "wtf is wrong with your face?!? Are you wearing makeup?!?!" I said no at first but they grilled me and noticing bruising too...
So I told them and they died laughing... I was soo embarrassed but it was funny too...
I just ended up washing the make-up off, and kept getting asked wtf happened to me :/ lol . It took days to go away, but the first two were pretty bad.
Riddle:
How far can you walk into the forest?
A: only half way, then you're walking out