Justifying kava to loved ones

[Ed!]

Kava has had a very positive influence on my life (regardless of physical/mental effect). It has completely altered my negative trajectory with alcohol, and I'm in fantastic shape after losing a bunch of booze weight. The stuff ain't cheap, but I would guess it's cheaper than alcohol for the most part too.My fiance never liked my drinking habits, so I thought she'd be excited about the kava experiment. She's been pretty suspicious though, and seems to view it as alcohol: take II.So, I wanted to create a thread for your experiences with loved ones + kava, and if anyone has suggestions for best ways to handle those who don't accept it for what it is, feel free to chip in too!

 

[Ozzyfan121]

I'm not sure what the best way is to handle it. I can empathize with your experiences of your family's wariness, as I too am a recovering addict and it seems to make them a bit uncomfortable. Perhaps the longer you continue to drink kava the longer they will observe the difference between it and alcohol.

 

[endwatcher]

explain to them that Kava is a supplement, not a drug.

Compare it to things like St. Johns wort,Ashwagandha,Ginsing, melitonin etc..etc

 

[Vekta]

There are many videos on youtube that are excrepts from documentaries about kava. Show them those. I'll even post the links to them for you...



http://www.youtube.com/wa...25k0&feature=related



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFuYsSq4914



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnALKS-DNv0



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBeU5e1ehJg



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qlGHwP5C0A
People are going to look at you funny until they see what it's about. Everyone that I have shown videos of the cultures where kava is a big part everyday life were far less likely to look at me like I'm just taking some other drug and attach a stigma to that.

 

[Ed!]

Those are great, thanks! I especially think the last one with the fella from Paradise Kava will be a big help.

 

[Prince Philip]

Tell them you were commanded by the Duke of Edinborogu?

 

[kavalover]

My family was weary at first with my kava consumption, but they gradually accepted it with open arms. There has always been something a little odd with my mood, I go from being absolutely elated to fine to miserably depressed and cynical within hours maybe anywhere from 3 - 5 days of the week. Kava has helped me a lot, keeping a straight focused and clear mindset on making goals and achieving them. My family has seen this and as a result has even ask me questions about kava all the time. They kind of treat it as nonchalantly as one would treat coffee now. So, my only advice would be to allow them to see any positive effects it has on you with their own eyes. That's the best kind of proof sometimes.



Prince Philip wroteTell them you were commanded by the Duke of Edinborogu?

And if that doesn't work then just tell them this^

 

[kl.KarmaG]

This is an interesting topic and I enjoy reading everyone's responses. I don't have much to contribute since people tend to look at me weird for drinking kava so I don't really talk about it much except with close friends and family. My husband is curious but not enough to try it. It would be nice if he did, though. Kavalover, I can totally relate to the strange moods cycling very quickly. Kava seems to help me out in this respect where I still get upset but can keep a better handle on things as I'm completely aware of the changes as they happen now and can rationalize why I'm feeling down and change my actions appropriately. I guess the proof is in the pudding as they say.

 

[Vekta]

It was funny, after I explained a little about kava and showed some of those video clips I was handing kava samples out left and right. I've even been given money and told to pick out a kava for them. I've even turned a few people from more destructive habits to kava. It's worth the effort to show people the things they may not know or have heard wrong about kava.

 

[kl.homobonobo]

Just don't talk too much about how awesome kava is, hahaha. I did that too much when I first discovered it and it made everyone suspicious! They were just giving me shit, though, not really worried, hehe.

 

[Ed!]

I think that's a bit of what's going on right now with my fiance. I'm naturally very curious about kava right now, so I talk about it like a child with a new video game. Add to that that I'm reading "Kava: The Pacific Elixer" at Judd's recommendation and I'm regularly coming up with new things to tell her about kava. So she's wary.



Yesterday she looked in my fridge and was like "you have a lot of kava in here" with that less than excited tone. I should have said "well yes, but do you see any beer?"

 

[kl.KarmaG]

I'm guilty of the same, Ed and homobonobo. When I decide I like something, I tend to go on about it quite a bit almost to the point of obsession! So it may be a bit off-putting to some who think that I'm maybe a little loopy due to the stuff, when in fact I'm just really excited that I've found something that works and isn't totally detrimental to my health. I'm now aware of this so I try not to be so gung-ho with my enthusiasm and only talk about it with people I am close to. The benefits are clear, though: I've gone from being a functioning alcoholic (drinking multiple cases of beer a month) to drinking only rarely at parties and family functions. Sometimes I may go overboard with the kava especially when I'm not used to a particular variety's effect (I did that recently with Van3) but I can take days off without thinking twice where that never happened with alcohol. I need to get the stones to start bringing this to parties instead of drinking alcohol but half my problem is social anxiety and fear of not being accepted. Drinking some muddy brown liquid makes me a "weirdo" or maybe that's me caring too much about what others think. I probably just need to embrace my inner weirdo. (smiley: laugh)  That's why I love this forum so much - you all understand kava's awesomeness. Have I mentioned how much I love this stuff?

 

[Dan]

I need to get the stones to start bringing this to parties instead of drinking alcohol but half my problem is social anxiety and fear of not being accepted.

Ha, there could be a whole separate thread on this.  Last weekend was an extended three days of intense, enforced socializing with fancy (read: wealthy) people (both my gf and I work in the art world so this sort of thing is unfortunately part of the deal) that found me stashing jars of premixed instant beneath my car seat, pushed down in my bag, etc. 

Though I actually don't think I would ever have the wherewithal to drink it casually in front of others.  It's more the taste and the inevitable awful, cringing look on my face after drinking that keeps me from taking it public.

 

[kl.Letharia]

I don't think Kava needs to be justified. If it works for you, then there's simply nothing wrong with it. It's not addictive and wont ruin your life... I'd just downplay it. If anyone told me not to drink Kava, I'd just politely tell them to stop drinking caffeine, which is technically an addictive drug (probably works better if they've never had Kava. lol) I might point out how safe it is in comparison to all the normalized drugs we encounter on a regular basis (Rx drugs included...I might even suggest it's a better alternative for anxiety & insomnia.) People tend to be uncomfortable with substances that aren't common in their own culture. I believe booze is the only legal recreational drug in America because it's the white man's drug... But anyway, I'd just explain in simple and brief terms how Kava is a good choice, and why it's no big deal. If you get defensive, then it seems like there's something wrong with it, and you get caught up in a cycle of defending it...



As for seeming like a weirdo, that's a regular part of my life so I can't comment.

 

[kl.Gray Owl]

My wife and daughter think of it as a strong herbal tea that is really disgusting and that seems to be alright with them. It's pretty typical that I get interested in a subject and it becomes an obsession, but I've been doing that my entire life, people sort of expect it, that's sort of how I do everything. Herbal medicine / shamanism has been a recurring one, more broadly tribal cultures and anthropology, which is an interest that goes back to childhood as well. I'm self-conscious at times about being perceived as a weirdo, but I look at the "normal" things and they just seem so boring. Being a bit weird keeps life interesting and is a source of amusement for others. It's nice to feel accepted and understood, but if you become completely normal, then there's no you left, just another productive automaton, part of the hive.

 

[Ed!]

Agreed! I am very very counter-culture myself. If something is an expected norm, I like to explore a different path. Maybe not always a very different path from the social norm, but one that I clearly put thought into rather than just following along.

 

[kavalover]

My wife and daughter think of it as a strong herbal tea that is really disgusting and that seems to be alright with them. It's pretty typical that I get interested in a subject and it becomes an obsession, but I've been doing that my entire life, people sort of expect it, that's sort of how I do everything. Herbal medicine / shamanism has been a recurring one, more broadly tribal cultures and anthropology, which is an interest that goes back to childhood as well. I'm self-conscious at times about being perceived as a weirdo, but I look at the "normal" things and they just seem so boring. Being a bit weird keeps life interesting and is a source of amusement for others. It's nice to feel accepted and understood, but if you become completely normal, then there's no you left, just another productive automaton, part of the hive.

This is why I love online forums, I find people I can relate to. My habits are similar in that if I develop a fascination to something it sticks to the point of obsession and then I get bored. I've gone through so many hobbies.. crafts, music/instruments, drugs, plants/herbs/enthnobotany in general. My family and close friends are used to it but I understand what you mean about being conscious of looking weird. Just remember that like you said you're living things the way your brain works. That's you man, don't be worried if someone thinks you're a little off, that's what makes the individual. I don't know about you but I enjoy being the guy buzzing outside of the "hive". The air is better out here anyway, the standard model of "normal" is boring.

 

[kl.Gray Owl]

Regarding the obsessions, I'd be curious to know how people score on the Asperger's Quotient test, here's a self-scoring online version that is pretty good:



http://aq.server8.org/



Obviously, this is not a diagnosis, but could be food for thought and maybe something to look into. I just scored 39 and have an official diagnosis from a psychiatrist. On other versions of the test I've scored in the 35-39 range. Trivia: the AQ test was developed by Simon Baron-Cohen, cousin of Sacha Baron Cohen, who annoys the shit out of me. If you want to learn more about Asperger's Syndrome, I highly recommend "Look Me In The Eye" by John Elder Robison, a lot of it seemed very familiar to me.



I started looking into it because of my daughter, who is more autistic than I am, and the problems that she was having in school, being concerned what was going to happen when she moved on to middle school. I didn't want her to be isolated and end up with the drug crowd by default like I did. Just knowing about it has made a huge difference for her, last year was the first that she had friends at school, she has other Aspie-ish friends and they spend a lot of time creating things on Little Big Planet 2 outside of school, some of it is pretty fricking incredible. I was showing her some stuff about Arduino last night, she's been wanting to do learn some sort of programming--actually, Little Big Planet 2 and using Redstone in Minecraft have been a great intro to that--so I'm going to be getting some Lilypads and accessories for us to play with.

 

[kl.KarmaG]

Just took the test and scored 23 (female) so a bit higher than average but not by lots. I've always been outside of the whole popularity/pop culture thing but strangely tend to be ahead of trends because of my varied interests. In my family I'm known as the "weird one". I'm pretty comfortable with it as I've always thought that normal is a bit boring, but become very aware of it in social situations with those that don't know me well since I have a difficult time connecting with "normal" people whose interests I find dull, superficial, or just a complete waste of time. That being said, I am planning on bringing kava to some social gatherings this summer with people I know and connect with well. To them it will be an interesting topic of conversation at the very least, even if no one wants to join me in drinking it!

 

[kl.new2kava]

I think the biggest problem I had justifying kava to my girlfriend was that it is a root material that is basically extracted to yield psychoactive compounds. I should probably explain that I am on probation for extracting alkaloids from another type of root material and even though in the case of kava no nasty chemicals are used and no controlled substances are yielded it's more the principle that it involves roots and extraction that culminates in an intoxicating substance. When I first started using kava I got the crappy capsules and the tea from a natural food store and eventually bought root from a local herb shop so my girlfriend was okay with it. The when I started ordering pounds of it online she was a little more suspicious but the fact that there was nothing shady about the packaging and serving and nutrition information was on the bag made me able to point out that there was nothing even slightly illegal about it. She was just apprehensive as the root material that I had gotten myself into trouble was totally legal to buy, it just became illegal when the extration process began. My next hurdle was expalining that kava is not any type of "legal high" and is not illegal anywhere in the world to the best of my knowledge. She was slow to take to the idea but the fact that it makes me mellow and is completely legal and not any type of thing that could be considered a probation violation has warmed her up to it, she still thinks that kava juice is the most repulsive smelling beverage ever and I actually had to buy her a new blender as well as cups and bowls as she feels that the ones I use for kava are contaminated.