Kava for Grief

[chandra]

My father in law is dying of cancer. The doctors say six months, my instincts say three at the most. My husband and I are living with his mom and dad. They are also raising two of their grandkids. Essentially when he passes I'll have to be the one to hold the family together. While they are preparing funeral arrangements and making their plans, I'm trying to make my own plan for how I'm going to deal with everything. It breaks my heart, but I can't be overwhelmed with grief when this happens. Nor can I afford to drown my grief in something that will make me non functional. I've took a break from kava to experiment with different herbs, but I know kava is my best bet for getting through this when it happens. My question is what is the best kava for this situation in your opinion? Any extracts or something similar to supplement traditional prep for emergencies?

 

[PepperyPyrone]

You can't hide from it either. Grief is healthy, a natural process. It's something you have to go through, its good for you. I think sometimes kava can make you more emotional, like when you have downed a few shells and you have the neck and arm tingles and think about missing someone who has passed and all those good times; I find the tears come easier with kava. Anxiety is so much different than sadness and grief. I think of anxiety as more of an uncontrolled fear response, whereas sadness is a normal response to loss. I know that kava can help with clinical depression, most likely due to the MAOI activity, but even then, clinical depression is not a natural sadness. I just don't think you should see kava as an escape route for this time when you need to be strong and also let others around you know that you too are grieving. But hey, on those days when you are not sad and feel happy and are thinking about how precious life is and how wonderful it is that we are all here and alive . . . I would pull out the Moi and turn up some good music. They don't say Bula for nothing. To Life!

 

[chandra]

Yeah i'm not trying to hide from grief. I find that kava helps make my emotions easier to handle. It allows me to feel them without being overwhelmed by sadness or anxiety.

 

[ThePiper]

Im sorry to hear about your situation. I would say drink traditional preparation but don't worry about emergencies. Have a few shells when convenient and then coast thru it, taking what comes your way as best you can. I feel like it shouldn't be something you immediately jump for. You just want to get in the kava zone to calm you down, you don't need an instakrunk

 

[PepperyPyrone]

Have you tried Honokane Iki? I find this strain very different, in that it relaxes you very nicely but also allows you to remain in the zone of what ever you are involved in at the time, and focused. But then again this strain is best for weekends, it's strong, maybe low doses for this effect. ? Best of luck to you and sorry to hear about your news. Be strong for your family any way you can.

 

[Deleted User01]

I recommend a heavy kava when you start thinking about it. It will help you not to dwell on it so much. When you visit your father in law, a heady kava will make you more sociable and and allow you to put on a happier face. Good therapy for your pop in law to see you grinning.

 

[chandra]

I may try the Honakane Ike. When I said emergencies I meant like when it happens and I have to make phone calls or spend the day at the funeral home. I'm dealing pretty well considering now, but I know I'm going to need some help later on, especially the first few weeks after he passes. I work for myself and I can take a little time off when I need it which will be helpful as well. My body seems to work best with medium sized doses of medium strains. I'm usually a bit more extreme one way or another, so maybe those kavas balance something out. Mahakea is my favorite all around kava for that reason.

 

[PepperyPyrone]

Mahakea is one of my favorites too. Hiwa is pretty similar with mild sedation at low dose (1-2 tbsp). Like Honokane Iki, it will relax you very well. Like floating on a river of kava.

 

[VictoryRider]

Very, very sorry to hear about your upcoming loss. I"ve lost lots of people in my life -- I know how it feels.

Kava should help. But what I found that really helps is keep busy. It keeps you involved but in a positive way.
The quiet/alone times will still result in feeling the grief, but again, keeping busy with what you need to be doing
seems to keep a person involved and active. Inactivity makes the mind run wild, and that's not always good.

And of course, if you are so inclined, lean on the man upstairs (not the guy living in the apartment above you.