What's new

Kava has helped to heal my heart

Zuvuya42

Newbie
I used to be a very compassionate, loving and open person when I was in my late teens and early twenties. I spent much of that time working to become a kinder, more aware human being so that I could hep other people to the best of my ability, without deceit or ulterior motives, and it paid off for a period of time. What I never learned was resilience and how to cope with extreme stress and loss. My mid twenties were filled with defeat, poverty, heartache misfortune, poor choices, and addiction that ultimately lead to my using kratom for 7+ years,. Kratom was a godsend in helping me kick opioids and in putting me in a state of mind where I could brush off my struggles and keep going. I'm married now and have a decent job, working on starting a family next year, and I realized that Kratom was holding me back. I quit a few times but never for longer than 3 months.

This time has been different, and I owe that to the Wim Hof Method and to Kava. Its taken some experimentation but I've found kava that I can rely on from morning to night, even on working days, and I have been continuously confronted with a feeling, sometimes even a clear voice and message, in my meditations that is urging me to open my heart again, and to feel loving kindness for the world and its people once more. I'm not "there" by any means, but the benefits of that reminder and associated practice have really paid off - I don't hate my job or treat my wife like an idiot when shes wrong anymore, I dont judge other people as strongly, I dont feel so much intense rage for the injustice perpetrated by all of the leaders in our world. I regret having been so angry for so long, but I am infinitely grateful to Kava for reminding me how it feels to have an open heart again.

Thank you all for sharing your knowledge and access to this plant, and thanks for reading! :)
 

Kapmcrunk

The Kaptain of Crunk (40g)
KavaForums Founder
Welcome! You'll find many with similar or even identical stories, mine included. Kava led me away from the destructive path unlike any other chemical plant or pill I had ever found. Truly didn't force, but guided.
 

Halibut_Acid

Krunkadelic
I completely get that. I had some pretty bad years of addiction and eventually got completely sober for about 2.5 years. Those 2.5 years were largely filled with complete isolation, loneliness, and desolation. But then kava slowly found it's way into my life and (along with yoga, meditation, and the use of mushrooms) began to help me open up my heart and allow in the good things once again. It's funny how you shut out even love when you reach the deepest places of fear in your own heart. Glad to hear it is helping you too!
 

Hightide

Kava Enthusiast
I completely get that. I had some pretty bad years of addiction and eventually got completely sober for about 2.5 years. Those 2.5 years were largely filled with complete isolation, loneliness, and desolation. But then kava slowly found it's way into my life and (along with yoga, meditation, and the use of mushrooms) began to help me open up my heart and allow in the good things once again. It's funny how you shut out even love when you reach the deepest places of fear in your own heart. Glad to hear it is helping you too!
I can relate to a lot of that isolation and loneliness, especially while getting sober. Fear is pretty strong sometimes, but i feel like only when you dont look at it. once you start investigating it loses its grip. Kava has helped me look at fearful places within myself, that I wasnt aware existed. Bula!
 

Darcy Jay Strutt

Kava Curious
I can relate to a lot of that isolation and loneliness, especially while getting sober. Fear is pretty strong sometimes, but i feel like only when you dont look at it. once you start investigating it loses its grip. Kava has helped me look at fearful places within myself, that I wasnt aware existed. Bula!
God it is amazing to hear others have been through the same lows i had during the period after leaving harmful self destructive behaviour and how much kava can help. Since beginning my romance with kava I no longer yearn for the things which almost ruined me, and no longer feel depressed and ashamed. It allows me to see the good possibilities of my situations.

Kava is allowing me to be myself before I got addicted to hard drugs and feel balanced again. It is truly an amazing plant!
 
Last edited:

Hightide

Kava Enthusiast
God it is amazing to hear others have been through the same lows i had during the period after leaving harmful self destructive behaviour and how much kava can help. Since beginning my romance with kava I no longer yearn for the things which almost ruined me, and no longer feel depressed and ashamed. It allows me to see the good possibilities of my situations.

Kava is allowing me to be myself before I got addicted to hard drugs and feel balanced again. It is truly an amazing plant!
So good to hear you found kava before said thing almost ruined you. We are lucky kava exists, that's for sure
 

Pzk

Newbie
To me it is a bit different! But in the end it is almost the same. Excuse if my english ist not the best!

I get addicted very fast - and back in the days I struggled a lot with weed - as stupid as it sounds. So I always tried to stay away from everything which can make me addicted (besides nicotin- I vape 20mg liquid the whole day). I was almost alcoholic back in the day.

But staying away from drugs didn't change my life. I was isolated a lot for about 17 years. Lonely and lots of mental suffering - not able to live. Very sensitive person.

I was always looking for a substance I can use - because besides getting addicted - I can't take most of the stuff mentally. Even weed I couldn't smoke anymore even if I would like to (and if I could smoke weed and get my things done anyway - I would start smoking immediately).

Then I came to Kratom - before trying opioids because of physical illness and pain. I didn't like them in the beginning and they didn't work - which was strange. Then Kratom came into my life and at that point I realized "leave it alone! Don't take opioids!"... I had withdrawls after a couple of times taking it, with the worst dreams ever... depression 2-3 days after taking it for only 2 days in a row.. unbelievable ... I don't want to know what would happen on stronger stuff!

Then Kava came... and to be honest - yes it is addicting to me somehow - even physical withdrawl... I have it sometimes - once it was not easy - really headache - all muscles hurt... I almost had to throw up ... so I had to find out what is going on...

I read that some people can get addicted to it. I am not so sure in my case... because I started to consume it more aware- not so often - more breaks (I can't afford to take it everyday... every third day is too expensive still... sadly somehow...)

I also had to take more and more - one afternoon until night time and going to bed... I had my record taking around 300gr !!! And no not only 1 wash! 2 Washes of the 300gr! 60 Dollar? Every day? After waking up starting? another 100gr? 80 Dollar a day? 2400 Dollar a month? This is cracy!
(Btw how much do you use daily? Do you use it daily?)

At the moment I take around 50gr every third day.

Kava to me was more like - reaching parts of my self - I wasn't able to live - it is parts of energy, parts of strength, parts of self-confidence.... shadow aspects... and so on

Anxiety relief and relaxation is not my goal and not the effect that I get from it in the first place. Yes it must be a part of it- because my strength and darker aspects - was something I was afraid of.

So Kava to me is like therapie somehow. I am a musician and I made the best music ever... on Kava... gimme Kava and make music all day all night. It brought sides up in me musical wise - damn... the people who listen to my music would pay for my kava so that I keep going on doing the music...

In the beginning I couldn't sleep after taking kava - even if it was heavy... because to me it is more like cocain (I never did cocain, but I guess this must be a similar effect :cool: ). So I had to take my last dose 4 hours before going to sleep so that the effects are gone when I try to sleep.

Now it is like the day after kava is a day I feel complete - so complete I never felt for more than ... 20 years?!?!

I was always in some parts of my personality wondering how I can be the other parts from time to time... without a center - which is me - observing all this.

Now with kava... I found that place! Not while on kava... no the 1-2 days after taking it... the 2-3 day without I realize "ok it is time for kava again" -....

If this is an addiction... I don't care ATM ... And if I realize that I really can't go without it - or it gets worth - or I have to take it daily (but can't afford) ... bye bye kava...

I also realized that the advantages of Kava are not present if I take it daily! It is the whole picture - it is process! And I thank the kava plant for this.

Kava is like a spirit which says "I leave you alone - come if you want - I am not possesive towards you" ... and I can say the same to Kava plant (it seems)... and this is freedom....

My story :)
 
Last edited:
Top