D
Deathrydar
Hey everyone,
This is going to be a long story, but I will do my best to make it short as possible and as interesting as possible.
I was seeing a psychiatrist and was put on Xanax for about three years, and the dosage kept on being increased until it was up to 5mg a day!
In November, my idiotic psychiatrist took me off of the Xanax cold turkey and put me on Klonopin because I needed something that "lasts longer".
She never told/warned me about benzo-withdrawal. And I never even heard about it.
She took me off of 5mg a day of Xanax and "replaced it" with 1.5 mg of Klonopin. (.5mg 3x's a day)
It was hell! I wound up in a mental institution for 72 hours to get my meds and my head straight.....that's when the psychiatrists in the mental institution started me on 3 mg of Klonopin and 40 mg of Paxil.
UGH!
I was tired of putting these chemicals in my body! I wanted my life back! I didn't feel like myself anymore!
I stopped taking the Paxil last month. It was of moderate difficulty, but I got thru it.
This month, I started the taper off of my Klonopin and went from 3mg a day to 2mg a day without any issues. I figured that since I haven't been on the Klonopin for that long, and felt invincible from stopping the Paxil cold turkey, that I would stop the Klonopin cold turkey.
BIG MISTAKE!!!
After four days I felt like I was going to die. The insomnia, the psychosis, the feeling of being disconnected.
Anyway, I started taking 2mg of it again and felt like a completely failure!
I went to see my general doctor, as I am done with psychiatrists, and told him that I wanted off of this poison.
My general doctor is helping me, and I am now down to 1mg of Klonopin a day. (.5mg at morning, .5mg a night)
So far, so good. Only light withdrawal-like symptoms, but nothing like what I experienced from the Xanax and Klonopin cold turkey.
But none of this is going to help with my actual issue. I am an EXTREMELY tense and a high strung guy. I am always moving something on my body and have a hard time relaxing. My wife says my muscles feel like rocks and she cannot even massage me.
My sensai at my Krav Maga class says my "tenseness" causes me to be predictable when fighting and such. I have been taking martial arts classes for years and have always been told I am too tense and predictable. This is why I always get my butt handed to me in sparring tournaments.
One day, a guy I worked with pulled me aside and said, "when you go home, do you instantly sit on the couch and fall asleep? (Referring to how high strung and tense I am)
I even walk funny because my muscles are all tight.
So stopping the the Klonopin isn't going to help, as I am going to be the way I was before I started taking benzos, which was really, really anxious and worried.
For example:
When I was on the third night of the Klonopin cold turkey withdrawal, and the third straight night of no sleep and just laying in bed, I shifted my position in bed and nearly elbowed my wife in the face. I didn't, but then my anxiety took over.
All of a sudden, in my head, I am imagining if I would have elbowed her and broke her nose and then she was in the hospital and then I imagined that the cops took her into the back to ask her some questions and she was angry with me because I elbowed her and told them that I did it on purpose and I was arrested.
I will spare you all from the rest of the story, but it was pretty detailed with me in court and getting a divorce and losing my job and having nowhere to live, etc.
My anxiety rules me!
If I have kept your interest in my story for this long, you are probably wondering why I am posting this on the Kava forums......
I read about Kava, so I went to my local herb store and bought some Kava Kava Root capsules.
I am ignoring the crap I read everywhere about it causing liver damage, as that is probably due to this herb actually working and that would be a danger to the big pharmaceutical companies out there, so they had to taint it's reputation before they lost money.
I cannot take it yet, as I read in a lot of places that it is not good to take Kava while on a benzo, so I am going to have to wait until after I am completely off of the Klonopin, but my wife decided to take some last week and said she was relaxed, focused and fell right to sleep.
I envied her!
She has taken it a couple more times over the past four days and she continues to say that it relaxes her and makes her focused, which is kind of what Xanax and Klonopin did to me.
Anyway, I just wanted to say hi to everyone, as I will be around more once I can start taking this herb. I hope it works and I hope to get to know everyone a little better. And now you all know my story.
Open for discussion.
This is going to be a long story, but I will do my best to make it short as possible and as interesting as possible.
I was seeing a psychiatrist and was put on Xanax for about three years, and the dosage kept on being increased until it was up to 5mg a day!
In November, my idiotic psychiatrist took me off of the Xanax cold turkey and put me on Klonopin because I needed something that "lasts longer".
She never told/warned me about benzo-withdrawal. And I never even heard about it.
She took me off of 5mg a day of Xanax and "replaced it" with 1.5 mg of Klonopin. (.5mg 3x's a day)
It was hell! I wound up in a mental institution for 72 hours to get my meds and my head straight.....that's when the psychiatrists in the mental institution started me on 3 mg of Klonopin and 40 mg of Paxil.
UGH!
I was tired of putting these chemicals in my body! I wanted my life back! I didn't feel like myself anymore!
I stopped taking the Paxil last month. It was of moderate difficulty, but I got thru it.
This month, I started the taper off of my Klonopin and went from 3mg a day to 2mg a day without any issues. I figured that since I haven't been on the Klonopin for that long, and felt invincible from stopping the Paxil cold turkey, that I would stop the Klonopin cold turkey.
BIG MISTAKE!!!
After four days I felt like I was going to die. The insomnia, the psychosis, the feeling of being disconnected.
Anyway, I started taking 2mg of it again and felt like a completely failure!
I went to see my general doctor, as I am done with psychiatrists, and told him that I wanted off of this poison.
My general doctor is helping me, and I am now down to 1mg of Klonopin a day. (.5mg at morning, .5mg a night)
So far, so good. Only light withdrawal-like symptoms, but nothing like what I experienced from the Xanax and Klonopin cold turkey.
But none of this is going to help with my actual issue. I am an EXTREMELY tense and a high strung guy. I am always moving something on my body and have a hard time relaxing. My wife says my muscles feel like rocks and she cannot even massage me.
My sensai at my Krav Maga class says my "tenseness" causes me to be predictable when fighting and such. I have been taking martial arts classes for years and have always been told I am too tense and predictable. This is why I always get my butt handed to me in sparring tournaments.
One day, a guy I worked with pulled me aside and said, "when you go home, do you instantly sit on the couch and fall asleep? (Referring to how high strung and tense I am)
I even walk funny because my muscles are all tight.
So stopping the the Klonopin isn't going to help, as I am going to be the way I was before I started taking benzos, which was really, really anxious and worried.
For example:
When I was on the third night of the Klonopin cold turkey withdrawal, and the third straight night of no sleep and just laying in bed, I shifted my position in bed and nearly elbowed my wife in the face. I didn't, but then my anxiety took over.
All of a sudden, in my head, I am imagining if I would have elbowed her and broke her nose and then she was in the hospital and then I imagined that the cops took her into the back to ask her some questions and she was angry with me because I elbowed her and told them that I did it on purpose and I was arrested.
I will spare you all from the rest of the story, but it was pretty detailed with me in court and getting a divorce and losing my job and having nowhere to live, etc.
My anxiety rules me!
If I have kept your interest in my story for this long, you are probably wondering why I am posting this on the Kava forums......
I read about Kava, so I went to my local herb store and bought some Kava Kava Root capsules.
I am ignoring the crap I read everywhere about it causing liver damage, as that is probably due to this herb actually working and that would be a danger to the big pharmaceutical companies out there, so they had to taint it's reputation before they lost money.
I cannot take it yet, as I read in a lot of places that it is not good to take Kava while on a benzo, so I am going to have to wait until after I am completely off of the Klonopin, but my wife decided to take some last week and said she was relaxed, focused and fell right to sleep.
I envied her!
She has taken it a couple more times over the past four days and she continues to say that it relaxes her and makes her focused, which is kind of what Xanax and Klonopin did to me.
Anyway, I just wanted to say hi to everyone, as I will be around more once I can start taking this herb. I hope it works and I hope to get to know everyone a little better. And now you all know my story.
Open for discussion.
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