The problem is not the kava, it is the extract. Kavalactone Extract is not really kava.
True but I get bad dermo either way. I don’t know if it would be this bad after two weeks of daily medium grind, though. I guess the extracts also concentrate the flavokavains? The medium grind is so messy and takes so much work which is especially difficult considering the fatigue and brain fog I experience as a result of chronic illness.
I don’t think the dermo has been anywhere near as bad from traditional prep, but only when I would take it straight unfiltered. Traditional prep is hard for me to dose correctly. The “shells” don’t have a cumulative effect that is the same as when multiple shells are taken at once.
I seem to over or under shoot the range that works and either feel disappointed and frustrated or I’m seeing double. For all the good it does for me, it is really hard to work with. Timing with food is another moving target. I get best results four hours after the last meal and waiting an hour after kava before eating again. It’s hard to make another couple washes and then wait another hour before eating or I have to reschedule my meals around kava.
I’m not blaming kava. I’m the one abusing it. I wish I could have gotten help from a traditional healer to find the right cultivar and the right schedule to use have the right way because it definitely has benefits.
I’m tempted to just go medium grind but last time I did that it was mostly error through the trials and then the reverse tolerance hit and I was incapacitated for hours. Fortunately I was already in bed so I didn’t suffer another fall.
Tolerance is another moving target. For me it goes both ways. The tolerance builds and reverses and I’m not always sure which way it will go. Add that to the timing with the meals and it’s almost a roll of the dice.
I find it challenging to get consistent results for soothing the anxiety, easing the nerve pain, and improving the quality of rest during sleep, as well as helping me to be more balanced. I’m tempted to try the medium grind again but I’m caring for a mother with dementia and there is some risk that she might start wandering and getting lost. If that happened and I couldn’t catch up because I couldn’t walk, I don’t know how I could live with myself.
Another thing is that a lot is lost in traditional prep. I’ve choked back the leftovers and it definitely had an effect. It was really hard to get down but it worked. It’s hard to know that I’m throwing away such good and expensive medicine.
I wish I could keep going with it but I don’t see how; in terms of my inability to use it responsibly and the fact that I really can’t afford it and will likely regret the money I have already spent in the not too distant future. I’d love to try some Rhamwanger especially but no idea where to find that and do I really think it would work out that much better?
I’m not positive that I will be able to maintain abstinence. It’s not calling me like chocolate but it’s hard to live with these symptoms. I don’t see any other way but to stay off of it. Maybe if I ever go to the islands and find a traditional healer, they could guide me through an extended practice with a number of other treatments and I could get some long term benefit without the risks. I don’t think anyone here know anyone like that and such a person would probably just tell me that kava is not the right medicine for me. I feel bad about abusing it.
Here are pictures of my hands from today after 17 days of abstinence. Now the dermo is all over but much milder. It’s visible but not obvious. When I do yoga, it feels like I’m wearing wool or I have a mild sunburn. It’s really annoying.
