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Powdered Kava Review Squanch Kava Fiji Waka

nickbroken

Kava Enthusiast
Well I finally ordered some Squanch waka, I am pretty sure Mr. Squanch was getting tired of me telling him that I was ordering, just not to do it, but I have repented and it is time to write a very poor review.

Top
Well off the top I feel good, actually really good, my mind is abuzz and alive with all the endless possibilities that the world can bring, which will most likely be me sitting here drinking more Squanch. This is not a fully heady Kava, it is very balanced I am getting a piece of everything and it is delectable. Music is dancing across my soul and it is telling me to get up and dance, which is terrible because I literally have no physical rhythm outside of munching chips in a monotone manner. I find most Kava introspective if it doesn't really have and Squanch waka is no exception to this. Right now I am thinking about how strange life is, it's strange to be alive, strange for all the things that are going on in this current day and age are becoming the norm where 20 years ago we couldn't even fathom them. Sometimes I think that reality is an illusion. a computer simulation made to keep us entertained ala matrix. If this is the case then I wish it would simulate some more of this Squanch because it is Squanching good. I feel it behind the eyes and forehead, which I have felt for a good long while my mind is surprisingly clear, this kava is very clean. I really don't know why anyone complains about the taste, most likely my taste buds were burnt off years ago from the great sobriety was of '15. Does anyone feel the way I do? Does anyone want to jump on their roof and yell? Possibly fall off after and feel no pain because this lovely little gift if working the pain receptors saying "hey nickbroken, it won't hurt I promise!" Squanch is a fickle mistress. On a separate note I was a bit depressed earlier, but after drinking this I really feel no lingering effects of melancholy. If you drink too much you are prone to space out as I just did for the last 10 minutes.

Bottom
As I said very balanced even for how heady it is, I feel the hugs of a million tiny Squanchs all over my body and because of their fur, it's a very warm hug. I feel that wonderful hugging while I breathe sensation, not like I am being smothered, but more like my lungs and chest is being massaged, a Fijian massage also, the most benevolent of mistress Squanch is, lulling me into a false sense of security, needless to say, if the enemy were to strike right now I wouldn't use some witty quip from the 80's, the tumultuous villain would merely get a "meh" not even capitalized nor punctuated. They would leave and come back later when I was ready to deal with them, because right now I am only ready to deal with my bed, maybe some music, maybe some Netflix, we will see what Squanch allows me to do. Decent painkiller, I was a little sore earlier, but right now I am feeling alright, the tension in my muscles from a pain in the ace day is starting to unraveled themselves unwillingly. I could really use a massage though, anyone in Canada? Not you.
Whole
In the day and age where kava prices are rising, but the quality isn't rising to meet the dollar increase I would say Squanch is a top 3 bang for your buck Kava,
If you want something balanced, something that gives back to your incensant habit than look no further than this wonderful waka. I should get the Lawena in a weekish, who knows I ordered a day after this one and for some reason Customs/USPS doesn't want to let go of it so we will see what happens, needless to say I can't wait to taste it because this kava has truly lived up to the hype.
 

nickbroken

Kava Enthusiast
Aw come'on Nicky, you know that deep down inside you likes yourself some heady kavas. Not a poor review at all. Excellent review.
I like heady if they are balanced which this one is, drank it a little late at night which I don't think I would recommend, it isn't very sedating.
 

Krunkie McKrunkface

Kava Connoisseur
I like heady if they are balanced which this one is, drank it a little late at night which I don't think I would recommend, it isn't very sedating.
I find if you drink Squanch heavily early in the evening you get to bed on time and sleep like a little baby. But if you drink Squanch later in the evening or start late, you want to stay up till 3 am playing video games. Last night I stayed up till 3 am hacking NFS Porsche Unleashed on the PC so it could be fast with maxed graphics and run without the CD and..... huh? what? is it 3 am already?
 

Squanch72

Kava Vendor
I drink cold water everyday since I use the Aluball. I don't tweak and sleep like a baby. But now I just want to do hot water prep for old time's sake since you all mentioned it.
But here's one for the tweakers.
 

Zac Imiola (Herbalist)

Kava Connoisseur
Can you explain @Krunkie McKrunkface ?

My experience consisted of using my ninja blender though which is different profile than just aluball
Pure ice cold water and a ninja definitely pulls out only heady Kls.
Same with alu but less intense it seems

My whole vision got brighter.. and I felt as though I had coffee
 

nickbroken

Kava Enthusiast
hmmm I toss and wash so I gets everything. Still this stuff isn't very sedating. Not sure how it is for anxiety, I felt generally pretty content, very nice body effects.
 

Krunkie McKrunkface

Kava Connoisseur
Can you explain @Krunkie McKrunkface ?

My experience consisted of using my ninja blender though which is different profile than just aluball
Pure ice cold water and a ninja definitely pulls out only heady Kls.
Same with alu but less intense it seems

My whole vision got brighter.. and I felt as though I had coffee
Specifically on that occasion it was 100 ml cold water, 50 ml cold coconut milk, 4 TBS of the Squanchinator, in a blender, pulsed 5 short 1 - 2 second bursts, then a long 20 second pulse, then 5 more short pulses, then let it sit in the blender for 10 minutes, then strained with a pretty good tea strainer, stirring til the makas left in the strainer was mostly dry. Chugged it all in one gulp and washed it down with ginger beer as best I could. I expected that within 20 - 30 minutes I would be feeling pretty good but what in fact happened was that within 2 minutes I was completely Squanched out of my gourd. Anyone who has ever been Squanched out of their gourd will know exactly what I mean by that. I knew I had a matter of mere moments to fetch...... the comfy chair! where I parked myself until it was safe to get up again. It was pretty good.

I remember then thinking, once it was safe to do so, "wow, I think I'll drink Squanch every Thursday for the rest of my life. That sounds like a plan." And it was, is.
 

Krunʞy

Chillin @ 40g
Admin
Great review! I love that kava, has been my main brew for about a year. I suppose it's an acquired taste/feeling/chemotype. They do vary in effect or balance slightly from time to time. I miss the older batches, they use to be much headier.
 

nickbroken

Kava Enthusiast
Great review! I love that kava, has been my main brew for about a year. I suppose it's an acquired taste/feeling/chemotype. They do vary in effect or balance slightly from time to time. I miss the older batches, they use to be much headier.
I feel like it's something I want to drink if I ant to engage with whatever activity I am doing other wise it is best cut with something. I am currently mixing it with 1 year waka and not getting much done because I am all over the place in a pure state of bliss. I will say waka is an amazing day time kava, but I was able to sleep on it last night just fine. Does anyone know the chemotype offhand?
 
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