I Love Kava Friday Please Forgive Me

[HeadHodge]

Dear Diary,

Twice a year I give candy to children and enjoy it.

 

[kavamehameha]

Kava candy that is?

 

[Zac Imiola (Herbalist)]

Deer dairy,
My speling has ben geting beter

 

[Squanch72]

Halloween is the sexiest holiday!!!

 

[verticity]

Dear Diary,
I feel like celebrating Friday with a poem:

Lo! What darkens the sky?
A thousand flapping wings
Of the flock of flying fucks
That I do not give

 

[Zac Imiola (Herbalist)]

 

[Zac Imiola (Herbalist)]

 

[Deleted User01]

Dear Diary,
Twice a year I give candy to children and enjoy it.

First off, it is worrisome to me that you give candy twice a year. I feel that the second time you might be putting candy on a string, throwing it out in the street, and pulling on the string everytime an innocent child tries to pick it up.
Second, I enjoy pretending that I'm going to give candy to kids on Halloween. First I give them the crappy stuff and then my wife and I gourge all the good chocolate candy that I "withheld". Yup, the Gringe that stole Halloween.

 

[verticity]

Here's an amusing story.

I was updating my Facebook profile; like my college, places I have lived, etc, and also "Family Members". So in the drop down for Family Members there is Brother, Cousin, Mother-in-law and Pet (gender neutral). But there is no Spouse, Wife or Husband. So I selected Pet (gender neutral) for my wife. I don't think she will mind because she never looks at Facebook anyway.

Proof:

Scroll down:

Scroll down some more:

Let the tasteless jokes commence!

 

[HeadHodge]

First off, it is worrisome to me that you give candy twice a year. I feel that the second time you might be putting candy on a string, throwing it out in the street, and pulling on the string everytime an innocent child tries to pick it up.
Second, I enjoy pretending that I'm going to give candy to kids on Halloween. First I give them the crappy stuff and then my wife and I gourge all the good chocolate candy that I "withheld". Yup, the Gringe that stole Halloween. View attachment 4408

 

[verticity]

Of course, when you select the "Family Relationship" it has to be validated by the other person in the relationship, like click this button in this email if you are indeed vert's Sibling-in-law (gender neutral). And of course this also includes the Pet relationship.

 

[Zac Imiola (Herbalist)]

Hahaha facebook is prepared for people making facebook for their pet.

 

[Deleted User01]

First of all, we need to remember to move this stuff to Off Topic. (Yeah, @Kapmcrunk, you finally got to me on your last day no less).
Second of all, I'm walking , nay running to your house @verticity to tell your wife the good news. I know she will be thrilled.

 

[verticity]

First off, it is worrisome to me that you give candy twice a year. I feel that the second time you might be putting candy on a string, throwing it out in the street, and pulling on the string everytime an innocent child tries to pick it up.
Second, I enjoy pretending that I'm going to give candy to kids on Halloween. First I give them the crappy stuff and then my wife and I gourge all the good chocolate candy that I "withheld". Yup, the Gringe that stole Halloween. View attachment 4408

The string has a hook on it, and he uses a fishing pole to reel in the child after they eat the candy.

 

[verticity]

First of all, we need to remember to move this stuff to Off Topic. (Yeah, @Kapmcrunk, you finally got to me on your last day no less).
Second of all, I'm walking , nay running to your house @verticity to tell your wife the good news. I know she will be thrilled.

I told her; she thought it was hilarious. I think.

 

[HeadHodge]

Hahaha facebook is prepared for people making facebook for their pet.

An anadromous fish, born in fresh water, spends most of its life in the sea then returns to fresh water to spawn. Salmon, smelt, shad, striped bass, plus sturgeon are common examples. A catadromous fish does the opposite - lives in fresh water then enters salt water to spawn.

 

[verticity]

An anadromous fish, born in fresh water, spends most of its life in the sea and returns to fresh water to spawn. Salmon, smelt, shad, striped bass, and sturgeon are common examples. A catadromous fish does the opposite - lives in fresh water and enters salt water to spawn.

My wife finds that word offensive, FYI

 

[HeadHodge]

My wife finds that word offensive, FYI

Which 'fresh water' or 'salt water' ?

 

[verticity]

Which 'fresh water' or 'salt water' ?

"and"

 

[HeadHodge]

"and"

I'm sorry to see wifey so distressed at my using that most foul word. I'm a reasonable guy and I've removed all references to that offensive word in my previous post. And do please give her my best regards.