ratford Barrington III
Spokesperson
Hi folks, Ratford Barrington III here to deliver a special message to the members. I know Friday is reserved for foolishness but I have a serious message to post. I have been asked by my sponsor, a third party not related to the kava forums, to say a few words on their behalf. They are asking everyone in the Kava Forums to cooperate with the Admins on this forum and answer the Kava Census and show solidarity with the banning of Tudei. For those of you who refuse to cooperate, my sponsors have carefully crafted a new verb to describe your punishment. The verb is “ratboned”.
So here is an example of how the verb is used during a nitemarish incident caused by the imprudent over-consumption of Tudei Kava combined with forgetting to do the Kava Census ....
You went on a Tudei drinking spree and you ended up in jail. You are in your jail cell and your best friend is in the next cell laughing his ass off and saying “Man, this was worth it”. You are disconsolate as you look at 6 exhausted rats smoking cigarettes on your cell bed. The rat with the eye patch dreamily stares at you and asks, “was it good for you?”. He winks at you with his one good eye. Your head droops in anguish. Looking for an escape, you desperately look through the jail cell bars and outside to the streets below with a glimmer of hope in your eyes. Your hopes are immediately dashed on the rocks of despair as you spy two angry women huffing amd puffing down the street toward the jail house. They look like the wicked witch from the West and her sister from the South. Alas, it is actually your Wife and your mother-in-law coming to bail you out and they look very, very unhappy.
Sighhh .... Ya bro’, you’ve been ratboned and it’s going to be an all day affair.
Here is another example of how you would use the verb Ratboned ....
You get a call from U.S. Customs and the news is not good. You hang up and exclaim, “Damn, that is the second time they confiscate that kilo of Tudei Kava that I ordered, I’ve been ratboned again”.
Once again, you have used the correct verb to describe your predicament and the punishment is equal to the crime. If you would at least fill out the Kava Census, then bad things wouldn’t happen to you (as much).
So if you do not wish this verb to enter into your life, then please fill out the Kava Census and stand with your fellow members against the plague which we call Tudei Kava. My sponsor would also like to add that any vendor insisting on selling Tudei will receive an additional “yet to be named” punishment that will be heaped on top of the ratboning. In a word, “Ouch!”.
And now a word from my employer and sponsor:
This has been a public service announcement paid for by “Stern Republican Women for the Swift Enforcement of Cruel Punishment on Males Behaving Badly”. The word “ratboned” has been trademarked by a horde of blood thirsty lawyers who will descend upon you like a colony of rabid bats unleashed from the pits of hell should you use bad judgement and name your seminal Metal Band, “RatBoned”.
Thank you kind ladies. So before I leave, I would like to send a message to all those who refuse to cooperate with the Census and the Tudei Issue:
See ya wouldn’t wanna be ya!
So here is an example of how the verb is used during a nitemarish incident caused by the imprudent over-consumption of Tudei Kava combined with forgetting to do the Kava Census ....
You went on a Tudei drinking spree and you ended up in jail. You are in your jail cell and your best friend is in the next cell laughing his ass off and saying “Man, this was worth it”. You are disconsolate as you look at 6 exhausted rats smoking cigarettes on your cell bed. The rat with the eye patch dreamily stares at you and asks, “was it good for you?”. He winks at you with his one good eye. Your head droops in anguish. Looking for an escape, you desperately look through the jail cell bars and outside to the streets below with a glimmer of hope in your eyes. Your hopes are immediately dashed on the rocks of despair as you spy two angry women huffing amd puffing down the street toward the jail house. They look like the wicked witch from the West and her sister from the South. Alas, it is actually your Wife and your mother-in-law coming to bail you out and they look very, very unhappy.
Sighhh .... Ya bro’, you’ve been ratboned and it’s going to be an all day affair.
Here is another example of how you would use the verb Ratboned ....
You get a call from U.S. Customs and the news is not good. You hang up and exclaim, “Damn, that is the second time they confiscate that kilo of Tudei Kava that I ordered, I’ve been ratboned again”.
Once again, you have used the correct verb to describe your predicament and the punishment is equal to the crime. If you would at least fill out the Kava Census, then bad things wouldn’t happen to you (as much).
So if you do not wish this verb to enter into your life, then please fill out the Kava Census and stand with your fellow members against the plague which we call Tudei Kava. My sponsor would also like to add that any vendor insisting on selling Tudei will receive an additional “yet to be named” punishment that will be heaped on top of the ratboning. In a word, “Ouch!”.
And now a word from my employer and sponsor:
This has been a public service announcement paid for by “Stern Republican Women for the Swift Enforcement of Cruel Punishment on Males Behaving Badly”. The word “ratboned” has been trademarked by a horde of blood thirsty lawyers who will descend upon you like a colony of rabid bats unleashed from the pits of hell should you use bad judgement and name your seminal Metal Band, “RatBoned”.
Thank you kind ladies. So before I leave, I would like to send a message to all those who refuse to cooperate with the Census and the Tudei Issue:
See ya wouldn’t wanna be ya!
